Sadee F., WA/USA:

“My husband and I are two people who have large trauma wounds that we are in therapy to heal, but that was not doing much good for our “couple.” When we first started coaching with Vi, we also started couples therapy the same week. This was an interesting comparison of approaches to solving couples' issues. We quickly realized that coaching was far more beneficial for us. 

Our sessions with Vi were two to three hours. It was longer than any therapy session I’ve ever had, and I believe that helped us reach vulnerable places and work through issues while having the loving support of someone outside of the relationship. We never left a coaching session feeling worse than when we came in, and that is not something that I could say about couples therapy.

Through our sessions together, Vi taught us different tools and helped us identify areas that needed attention without us becoming overwhelmed with emotion. She creates a safe container for people to feel their feelings while supporting all parties. Taking what we had learned from Vi outside of our sessions has made a big difference in how my husband and I relate. Examples of what we learned and use regularly are calling a time out when things get too heated, not abandoning the topic entirely, but giving each other some reprieve time while emotions are settled. We both learned to be more vulnerable with our communication, which comes directly from Vi, helping us learn to see our partner, not an enemy.

While our time with Vi is labeled as Couples Coaching, there was a lot of self-reflection that made our sessions priceless. She helped us learn to name and acknowledge emotions as they arise rather than keeping all of that bottled up inside. My favorite reference that I use most regularly is her sandbox analogy. When one partner is experiencing high emotions, they are in the sandbox, if the other partner can recognize that and stay grounded as their rational adult self, couples can avoid some of the massive blow up fights, and even offer their partner what they need in that moment. 

I think the best part of this program/process is that you have some sessions, take some time to implement the tools, and then have a few more sessions as needed. Her coaching model does not force anyone or any couple into a box. I am excited to work with her again.”